Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Holy Blizzard, Batman

They're not kidding this time. Usually, I tell people not to believe what they hear on the news. "No, we're not buried in 20 inches of snow...no, it's not -90 below....I don't know why they said that...Probably have the wrong zip code locked into their radar. Yeah, I think they have the North Pole, not North DAKOTA...yeah, a TYPO." But this time...it's for reals...until it changes, of course. Because as we say here up north, "Don't like the weather? Wait 15 minutes."

Today of all days, I turned in my "Crunch Mobile" to have it fixed. (Got rear ended a week ago, because do to the economic crisis, Fargo apparently can't afford gravel on the ice rink we call streets.) I was given a "Toy Car" (Kia Spectra) to drive for the rest of the week. Of all the days to trade in four wheel drive....Got a call from Marcy on my way to the collision center. The spoiled brat who has underground parking had been stuck in her driveway for an HOUR, and she was slowly running out of gas. In a monotone voice she said, "This isn't how I was meant to die. I know it." We made it to work, but the conditions were getting worse by the half hour. Then, tragedy struck. What is the ONE thing that means the weather is BAD? The mall closed.

I called Kelley on the way home, to tell her not to come in. I was greeted with, "You woke me up out of a lovely dream. I had stolen someone's credit card." As I headed home in my clown car, white knuckled in near white out conditions, I thought of all the wrong things: I wonder if the pizza/chinese places are delivering? Maybe I should stop at the grocery store? No, I'd feel bad for the people trapped there. But they have food, at least...I wonder if the liquor stores are open? I'm out of wine...crap.

Don't just stand there, looking pretty...Get shoveling!


MJS said...

Fgo must be getting soft. They never closed the mall when I lived there. In fact I still remember the blizzard when all was canceled except the sportsman show out at the NDSU field house. Good times.

Hope you have kibblez.

Anonymous said...

It is not fit for man nor death by fire cat to be out! I got home about 11:30! Glad I have internet at home now! I am working on a Flamingo photo book! Send me any flicks I could put in of family!

PS How can I change my name on the blog follower?!?!?!?!

Brenda said...

Anonymous is me dumb cousin Brenda...

Anonymous said...

"The spoiled brat"? Excuuuse me?!?!?!?!

(this anonymous=Marcy)

A Fuss said...

Shit, this is my fault isn't it? You're not pointing fingers but I know its only because I'm a poor sick helpless pregnant woman. But I acknowledge, I did this to you with my talk of Spring and I am REALLY, REALLY sorry. Please don't send it on to me. Karma is a bitch.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Hahahaa! "I had stolen someone's credit card" that is a truly epic line :P

Cats are unfortunately too lazy to shovel snow. Give them caffeine to boost helpfulness?

About Me