Sunday, November 15, 2009

Adventures in Brazil

It's been a long time, friends. I have been busy with work, school, and booz-uh-socializing on the weekends. Then my Firefox wasn't working, and that's where all my bookmarks are saved (can't remember all my passwords, even though I'm sure they're pet names or something) and so I lost track of blogs. Not that I have any energy to read much more than facebook updates after I get home. Anyhoo....on to the one actual funny thing that has happened to me in months....

A couple weeks ago we jumped into the Brazillian waxing in my psuedo beauty school. Cosmetology students are a different breed. We call it "The 13th Grade". Imagine a "Legally Blonde" slumber party with lots of hair cutting and eyebrow waxing and hijinx. But I digress.

There we were, me and my one classmate, an educator, the person who was teaching us the waxing, and Ron, the one guy from the day class. Oh, yeah. RON. The girls from the day class refused to let Ron in on their waxing tutorial. He's in his 50's, and a nurse. My classmate and I figured since we have such little shame left, what's the harm in letting him watch something that he will probably never practice? Hmmm? Besides, when you're lying there with all your business on display awaiting an unknown pain to be forced upon you, you tend to not pay attention to who is in the room. If you ever have to go through a Brazillian waxing tutorial, here's a tip: while you are on display, waiting for the wax to harden, having a light chat with the spectators at your feet, try not to make eye contact. When there is a lull in the conversation, their eyes migrate to the wax. And I'm not talking about the wax that's on the cart in the wax pot next to you.

My classmate had waxed one of my eyebrows the day before. When you rip the strip off, it's best to apply some pressure to the skin. It lessens the pains. She kept forgetting to do that, so afterward I told her to try to remember that when waxing someone. And that was just my eyebrow. Could you imagine if she forgot that important step on a larger, more sensitive area?

So there I am, half of me waxed by the pro, the other half being practiced on by the non-pro. She started on the peripheral first. I told her a few times to apply pressure with her hand. And then we got down to business. I'm so glad there were no actual clients there that night. We don't have individual rooms. It's one large room with hospital curtains and beds that we close off when working on a client. I would've been really embarrassed and felt even worse after she ripped that stip of wax off of me and I sat up and pointed at my classmate and yelled (out of pain) "YOU AND THAT FRICKIN' HAND!" I think that rush of adrenaline covered up the pain immediately. It wasn't so bad after I laid back down and apologized profusely for scaring her and for being psychotic.

Sadly, she still forgets to apply pressure when she waxes other areas of me. I think going out for beers after waxing each other's hoo-ha's made her forget all about me screaming at her and my silly helpful hand tip.

(ignore the picture I used. never once did we have to raise our legs or get on all fours. i used it for theatrical purposes, of course)


*Lissa* said...

FILARIOUS!!!! Ouch. Good to see ya back at it.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

I have been enlightened about the inner workings of something I didn't really think about :)

MJS said...

Besides, when you're lying there with all your business on display awaiting an unknown pain to be forced upon you, you tend to not pay attention to who is in the room.

Huh. Sounds like childbirth.

Nicole said...

Oh that was just hilarious!! So glad you were able to post a new blog.

Jilly jill said...

MJ, I'm with you. ALL modesty goes out the window.

Snavely, no matter how much I love you, no matter that you are my sister from another mister, i will not be frequenting the Angry Beaver for you to torture me with hot wax. No way, no how.

Ice Queen said...

Oh I'm imagining getting waxed on all fours. Yikes!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

You know what? I don't EVER want to have that done. By anyone. NEVER EVER.

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