Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Cleansing Thoughts: Ghetto-fied

Clearly, I have too much time on my hands. Bilby gave me the idea. Blame him. Why buy those little Cleansing Thoughts cards when you can make them yourself?! I'm crafty! And if you make them yourself, you can tailor your messages to your own needs. Such a good idea. All I used was some cute sticky notes, black marker, sandwich bag, inspiration and duct tape.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Soap gets in your eyes

I got an email notifying me that Kris Jones is now following me on Twitter. Who? Well, it turns out she is a an entrepreneur, and she created "Cleansing Thoughts". They are affirmation cards that are water resistant, and you attach them to your shower wall with the removable holder. Or something. Your mind is more open in the morning, and it's the best time to send positive thoughts into the universe, so you "create" a good day for yourself. I don't know about you, but I have my morning routine timed down to the millisecond. And I wear glasses, so I can't see anything. So it's rush rush rush, and half the time is spent with my eyes closed because I don't like water in my eyes. (this is the point where my sister will be inspired to leave a long story in the comments about me and my hate of water in my eyes. it burns!) All kidding aside, these are pretty cool. They could make a cool gift. All seriousness aside, here are some other shower items that could be cool gifts, as well:





Thursday, June 25, 2009


Aw, thanks, Queen Bee! She was tagged as awe-summmm, and counted me in, too! So now I have to blog a third day in a row. You people will be so sick of me soon.....

I have to:

1. List 7 things that make me awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love
3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you)

7 Things That Make Me Awe-Summm!

1. I'm just so darn funny
2. I've lost about 10 pounds in 2 months
3. I no longer feel bashful about sharing my weight
4. I try hard to be a better person at least 5 days a week
5. If you're feeling bad, I'm quick to try to make you feel better
6. I hem Marcy's shirts for free (I sit on them for 4 months, but whatev)
7. I put people at ease and make them feel comfortable. Total strangers love chatting me up

OK- I will tag these next 7 Queen bloggers, but if they don't choose to participate, that's OK:

Kelley @ Pass the Xanax cuz she's one of my oldest friends who needs to keep blogging
Becky @ The Courteous Chihuahua cuz she is so funny and needs to keep blogging
Alex @ Don't Put Up a Fuss cuz we've gotten each other through some tough retail times
Sass @ Are You Sassified? cuz I think she may be going through some of her own tough times?
Alix @ Casa Hice cuz that was one of the best bikini waxing stories I've ever read
Braja @ LOST and FOUND in India cuz no one but her can strike such a balance of writing that is one day beautiful and spiritual, and the next: tawdry
Bilby @ The Universe of Bilby cuz he taught me Australians don't really say G'day. I think he's a great writer (when he focuses!). Um...sorry it's a queen award, dude.

I think all the bloggers I follow are Awe-suuuum! Ivy and Haley, The Constant Chill, Leslie that saucy wench, Queen Bee, Martini Mom, Lissa, and Team Silver bloggers. Go to my profile to find everyone's links and read them all!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Do what now? Wednesday

Who doesn't love a good weight loss blog? This will be a blog filled with emotional highs and lows, intrigue, delusion, betrayal, and failed mechanics.

Dear Diary: I stepped on the scale today, and I'm down to 148.5 pounds. I almost cried! Hard work pays off, and I can lose more than a pound a week!! I'm hungry. Weigh In Wednesday will be great!

Dear Diary: OMG. Today I stepped on the scale, and I weigh 146.5 pounds! Holy crap! Life is amazing! I feel thin. My ass is totally smaller. I feel like my thighs are melting away. This weigh in will totally help out my team! I'm sore. Vegetables and soy patty again? Bleh.

Dear @$#&*!! Diary: WTF?? It's Wednesday. I step on the scale, and guess what? Hellooo...no I DO NOT weigh 120 pounds! Well, maybe, it's possib- NO, Sarah, NO. That scale is not working. Ok, no biggie....calmly go to the ghetto bathroom scale. Step on, exhale to lose all possible ounces...uh...crap, I can't read the little lines. I'm not on the big line, so that's good. Is it one or two little lines left of the big line? Do I ask the chick working? "Hi, uh, I have a weigh in tonight, and I'm getting old, and I can't see that far down, can you read the scale for me? And after that, will you please fix that other scale? Oh, and uh, sorry about that hole in the wall...behind the scale....that's a piece of crap."

Slow and steady wins the race. 149. The End.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Everything you didn't want to know about me A-Z

I picked this meme up from Sassy B, who picked it up from someone else, who got it from someone else, and blah blah blah. The internet is one big virus, don't you think? This A-Z of me is very facebook, but it's fun to be randumb and post random blogs. Feel free to do this on your own blogs, or share some of yourself in the comments section.

A - Age: 33 (or 29 for the 5th time)

B - Bed size: Full (lame use for B, but oh well. at least it wasn't BRA SIZE. B)

C - Chore you hate: Washing dishes (I used to have a husband for that. *sigh*)

D - Dog's name: It was Jake. You all remember THAT blog, don't you?

E - Essential start your day item: Bar soap. Not a body wash girl.

F - Favorite color: Rainbow!

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5'3" and maybe a little extra?

I - Instruments you play(ed): violin.

J - Job title: Workflow Coordinator (whipping girl)

K - Kid(s): Tend to turn my biological clock backwards

L – Lick or bite: I prefer to smell my food first

M - Mom's name: HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY, NORMA!! (how the 3 of us haven't put you in the looney bin, we'll never know)

N - Nicknames: Snavely, Sarah K

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Nope

P - Pet Peeve: When people have food on their face. It's called "using a napkin in regular intervals"!

Q - Quote from a movie: "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving!" Auntie Mame

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 30 something sister (she's OLDER, hehehe) and 18 year old brother

T - Time you wake up: Depends on Tigger. 4am, 5:15am, 6:32am, whenever the fancy strikes the little bastard.

U- Underwear: I prefer my drawers to cover my ass, not go in between it

V - Vegetable you dislike: I've tried beets once. DIRT

W - Ways you drink your coffee: Black, not too hot, the stronger the better

X - X-rays you've had: teeth, chest, finger. And whatever else in the airport.

Y - Yummy food you make: Oh, I just love cooking from scratch! (Scratch my way into the box)

Z - Zoo favorite : I hate zoos. They make me sad. So that leaves the gift shop? "I came, I saw, I did a little shopping." My vacation motto.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

And they're off!!

(I didn't obtain reproduction rights for this cartoon)

After reading this blog, I was reminded of a morning last spring. It went something like this.....

I had been living in this apartment for almost a year. It's near downtown, but still a good neighborhood. (I haven't seen any transients for a while, but the nice weather just started) I can't control my heat (radiators) so I have my windows open pretty much everyday, year round. I was lying in bed, not quite ready to get up for the Saturday. I started to hear someone's voice, faraway, and it sounded as though it was on a speaker, or bullhorn. The person was very emphatic, and I was thinking "Hitler? Protest? Hitler??" Well, the abortion clinic is downtown, but it's located next to a wonderful deli that makes everything from scratch (I found a hair in my ginormous meatball, it's that homemade), and sells cute stuff, and is full of older women lunching, so nothing bad really happens down there. Then I heard a gun shot. Then I heard yelling and shouting. I don't really remember when I figured out that it was the start of the annual Scheel's Marathon (a big deal around here), but it was pretty freaky for awhile. Thank God I didn't call the police. That would've been embarrassing.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Flea Bags

my cats think everything in my hands is potentially delicious

I love going out with Marcy. She's a celebrity. So often people say hi to her, and after they walk away, I ask, "Who was that?" She usually answers, "I have no idea." It happened twice this weekend. The first time, Marcy asked the girl how she knew her. They had worked together, apparently. That wasn't the first time she ran into an old coworker she had blocked out. We were having ice cream one night, and this woman was almost heart broken that Marcy didn't remember ever working with her. Even though they sat a few desks away from each other. She needs to start scrapbooking these people, and write down their annoying qualities so she can look back and remember them the next time they say hi to her.

Anyway.....we went to the flea market today. The most beautiful day ever! Mother Nature has been a total beotch lately, but she finally took a Pamprin and gave us some perfect weather. I love looking at all the pretty things, and being spiteful because I wish I had the time, energy, and money to keep up my crafting. I would love to sell my wares, but I don't have any motivation. I'm considering an Etsy shop. But my crafts are another blog, for another time...Here are the two items I picked up today (sunburn and headache not pictured).

This is a little glass that reminds me of an ice cream parfait glass, nested inside a rusty spring. $6 I love all things rusty. MOM: "Why can't you ever buy anything new?" I just love distressed. I identify with it. The vase will sit on my desk at work, to help me forget I'm in hell.

No idea what this was from or for. There were four of them, and this is the only one that wasn't soiled. I think maybe they were to be pockets on an apron. I also collect aprons, but held back today. I don't wear them. I just like the idea of them. I think I'll sew this onto a flour sack towel. $1

Thursday, June 11, 2009

To dye for

I had to teach the peeps at work a new skill, and you'd think I was teaching them quantum physics. More than one person mentioned needing a drink after work. I really felt bad for the girl who quit smoking on Monday. Bad timing. What happens when you smoke with the "patch"? I don't want to know....So I told them I'd bring them treats on Friday to make them feel better.

I've been looking for a reason to make these cupcakes for a while. It's only overdraft fee reversals, but still a good reason to self medicate! I also love anything "rainbow". I'd put a rainbow sticker on my car, but that would be counterproductive to my hopes of dating a man in the near future. Anyhoo, I think I first saw these on The Courteous Chihuahua blog, but if not, oh, well. Shout out! Check out her Face in Hole blog. FUNNY!

I used a vanilla cake mix and just four colors of regular food coloring. I was tempted to buy the neon, though.

Separate the batter into as many colors as you want, I guess? Blue is the least appetizing color, by the way. But in cupcakes? Who gives a sh*t? I went a little heavy on the dye. "You can always add, but you can't take away" is my mantra. I was feeling frisky, though.
(you can set your bowls right side up, but sideways works for me)

YUM! Finger paints!! I started with using the "2 spoon method". Don't cross your streams!!! You don't want to taint the bowls of colors. If you drop the colors in one by one, quickly, that works almost better, and faster. The batter is thick enough that it doesn't really spread too fast.

I frosted them with lemon flavored frosting, just for added punch. I just took one bite, then threw the rest away. {hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! *wipes tears from eyes*} Gotta go lie down now...the sugar rush is killing me!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Let's get crackin

Worst.dieting.week.EVAH! I'd like to thank my brother for having a birthday, graduating high school, my mom for having taken time off work and cooking and taking us out to eat (multiple times), Aunt Mabel for putting on a great spread with plenty of sweets on hand, and Bobby for also having a birthday. All in the span of a week. You all suck. (No, not really.)

I never thought I'd say this, "I can't wait to go back to work!" Actually, if I never went back, I'd be quite content. But normalcy, and routine is what we all need. Except the part about having to clean my apartment. I do need to crack the whip on myself and get back business, however.

The past few days I can smell something similar to rubber cement in the hallway of my apartment complex. Then, when I walk into my apartment, it's stronger. The cats aren't dead, or more spastic than normal, so I guess it's all OK.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Almost Famous

I have no idea why people want to get mentioned in my blogs. Don't they read all the Marcy posts? I don't hold back, people. I do tell them they need to embarrass themselves in order to be written about. What I don't tell them is it's still not a guarantee. Muwahahaha!

Had a busy four days. Baby bro had his 18th birthday on Friday, graduated high school on Saturday, and our sister came up from IL with her kids, so we spent some quality family time together (eating naughty food). Isn't that a sweet pic of Jordan and Brenda aka I wanna be mentioned in your blog? Notice how Jordan is too preoccupied with looking at herself in the camera screen, and not into the lens. Dork.

I'm off work Monday and Tuesday, and so far it's been quite lovely. Except the part where my bro and sis were calling me and stalking me because they wanted me to bring them Mt Dew, this morning. I'm thinking an intervention is in order. Mom cleaned out boxes from the rafters of the garage for about four hours, and tried to pawn stuff off on my sister, the victim, who also expected to be blogged about. MOM: "These are your baby clothes! Don't you want them?" MJ: "They all have garage sale stickers on them! Apparently you didn't want them, either!" I guess we bond differently than normal families.

I'll leave you with a parting shot of our poor brother's birthday/graduation cakewreck my sister and I designed. All we had was pink frosting. That just added to the wreck mystique, though.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Oh, for the love of jeans!

Snap. I joined this seven week weight loss team challenge, and come to find out I have to blog my weight?? Can't we just email it?? It's all for the love of Team Silver (foxes). Ok, I added the foxes part. Maybe if I just sneak in the fact that I'm currently one hundred fifty one pounds no one will notice?

When I tell people I want to lose 25-30 pounds (sorry, bilby, i don't convert to kilos) they're surprised. It's distributed well. (no, it's not in my boobs) So well in fact, that when I was getting measured for my dress for Sarah D's wedding, the Korean seamstress slapped my thigh and said "OH, you got big thighs! You don't look it!" I just about slapped her. She didn't charge me for the measurements or verbal abuse. And that was when I was about 15 pounds lighter!

So here's a linkback or whatever to the sista hood website. I have to do this every Wednesday. I need to make weight loss a helluva lot funnier, or I'm gonna start losing readers AND pounds! You can join in on the fun Marcy and not be on a team and lose weight and get support and whateva. FREE! Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans

Monday, June 1, 2009

Oh, snap...

My friend Nicole, aka June Clever, has taken on "oh, snap" as her new favorite saying. She says it in the whitest girl way possible, and I laugh every time. She says it whenever something bad happens. Which fortunately tends to be often.

Remember my last post? "I give life decisions about an hour. Sometimes thirty minutes" Yeah, I gave the next one all of five minutes. I have a very short attention span, so the thought rolled around in there about 3 times, while I was busy looking at shiny objects. I've joined a 7 week weight loss team challenge over at Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. There's a dude, too. Maybe they'll change the name to "Dieters in the Hood"?

I'm a month and five pounds into my weight loss journey, and starting to loosen the death grip on my diet. Which means it's time to find more ways to stay focused! I'm on Team Silver, and Lissa has informed me we're goin down. Yeah, IN POUNDS, girlfriend! After I joined I thought "Oh, snap. What did I get myself into?" And then I thought "I hope I don't have slackers on my team. I hope I'M not the slacker on my team." I'm sure they're all quite lovely.

If you want to have that same thought....feel free to head on over to their website! They WILL shred you, my friend. (Marcy)

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